The magic of black and white.....

Its i: 17 am here in singapura... and yes I have work tomorrow... and yet I am awake to write a blog....:).. well.... thats me.. something would not let me sleep tonight... its not just one thing... its a multitude of things.. its like thats feeling when you are on a water bed...it was fascinating first... then you got onto it... and now the watery bubble under you is making you queasy...

I used to write...Funny I used the phrase "Used to write"....:).. anyways... I used to write and a lot at that....and I used to call it my catharsis....the black ink and white paper used to be my best friends... the ink would pour my heart out and the paper would listen to me.... as I said these words were my best friends....but that was WWWAAAAYYYY back.... somewhere along the line... I kinda neglected these guys.... and I feel sorry....at 1:22 am on a Wednesday morning I feel sorry......VERY Sorry....
Guess the reason why I stopped writing was because..I grew up...I did not need a paper and a pen to rant about my emotions ... there were friends... and as I grew up there was not much to rant about....

They say teenagers think the world is all wrong and they are meant to change it... So thats where I was when I used to think I was on this earth with a mission to accomplish...A Big mission where I would lead the masses to enlightenment... an oracle of sorts....and that was when I wrote the most.....will publish some of my poetry soon... I dont know where the damn notebook is right now....but it is here.. that I am sure of...
I continued to write through the boring lectures of Power systems and Communication during Engineering.... and at home when I had nothing much to do.... and then I did my PG and life changed.....please recall from earlier quote "I grew up" .....feeble excuse for dumping my best friends (the pen and the paper...remember?).. anyways....I had so much to do... so much to accomplish... that emotions were soon a thing of the past and it was work, work and more work....

I was never too good at expressing my feelings verbally....and after giving up on writing ....I guess I gave up on myself......I stopped communicating... and had time and attention only for my IIT and my job-to-come after my MBA.....

Then came phase three in life....I met someone who I could talk to...actually talk to....anything...and something just uncorked...everything poured out... I was happy-happy....really happy....(my pen and paper still forgotten!)....and emotions were alive again...I could feel tears, smiles, anger, all in full frenzy...( the frenzy being the result of corking up for so long)......guess thats what love does to you.... It CHANGES you....whether you and the person you are in love with are well equipped to embrace that change or not.... decides a lot of things to come......

Today....at 1:34 am I realise that my pen and paper are still my best friends....I am sure they would embrace me with the same love and affection, the paper being my confidant and the pen being my words.....I am sad from the bottom of my heart that they lie forgotten at the bottom of a pile of forgotten things....I apologise to them profusely....an am going to make a serious attempt at renewing the relationship that I had sidetracked for the past few years,.........

ADIOS!